My Christmas Confession
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I’ll start by coming straight to the point: I don’t actually like Christmas. There, I said it. For me, it mostly feels like… a lot. Who visits whom, on which day, at what time, and somehow it always overlaps.
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No matter how well you plan, someone ends up disappointed, or an entire carefully constructed schedule collapses like a bad game of Jenga.
In the Netherlands, we really commit. We have Christmas Eve, Christmas DayandSecond Christmas Day. Yes. Three. OMG. That third installment, however, we quietly canceled years ago. These days, Second Christmas Day is reserved for lying on the couch in a socially, emotionally, and gastronomically overfed state, barely moving, surrounded by crumbs and good intentions.
What also gets me is that Christmas often feels like an obligation. It has to be cozy because it’s Christmas. There must be an impressive, frankly unnecessary, amount of food and drinks. The table should visibly suffer under the excess, and the gifts need to threaten structural damage under the tree. Sometimes it feels less like a celebration and more like a performance, starring everyone pretending this is all very relaxed.
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As the year draws to a close, I feel a natural invitation to reflect on the months that have passed. Not to plan ahead just yet, not to set intentions or make lists, but simply to look back with softness. To notice what this year asked of me, what it gave me, and what it quietly taught me along the way.
Which brings me to the tree.
It’s been standing in our living room for over a week now. No lights. No ornaments. And honestly? I’m fine with it. It’s beautiful just the way it is. Picked out by Martin and Finn and delivered to our house (because it was far too big for a car, let alone a bike) while I was home with the flu. And there it stands, undecorated, unbothered, quietly judging us from the corner.
I’m still not sure whether I’ll hang any ornaments in it. That sounds wildly uncozy, I know. But a natural green tree, simply existing as a tree, is genuinely beautiful. Like a very large houseplant that accidentally became a seasonal statement.
The other day, I saw a video from an influencer I follow on Instagram. She openly admitted she doesn’t like Christmas and had no idea yet how or with whom she’d be spending it. And I felt instant relief. Finally. A kindred spirit. Proof that I’m not alone, just slightly underrepresented.
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As the year draws to a close, I feel a natural invitation to reflect on the months that have passed. Not to plan ahead just yet, not to set intentions or make lists, but simply to look back with softness. To notice what this year asked of me, what it gave me, and what it quietly taught me along the way.
Don’t get me wrong, I actually enjoy watching others go all in. Very, very many people on social media in glittery outfits, festive makeup, beautifully decorated homes, wrapping gifts like they’re auditioning for a lifestyle magazine. I like seeing it. From a distance. With my phone safely in hand and absolutely no obligation to participate.
Ideally, I’d be on holiday during Christmas. Like last year, when we were in Miami. Sun, pool, zero Christmas vibes, perfection. Unfortunately, traveling during Christmas is so outrageously expensive that it’s more of a once-every-few-years fantasy. And of course, itisspecial to spend Christmas with our parents, especially for Finn, with his grandparents. Although I’ll admit, a few weeks ago he looked genuinely disappointed when I told him we weren’t going to Miami this year. I fear he may have inherited my Christmas attitude. Natureandnurture.
Still, I truly wish everyone very happy Christmas days. And yes, this year again I’ll do my best to make it as lovely as possible for the people around me. I do sometimes look back wistfully at last year, Finn lying by the pool in Miami, not celebrating Christmas at all. On New Year’s Eve, we were in bed one minute after midnight.
This year? We might aim for ten o’clock. And honestly, that feels like growth.
And for those of you who feel the same way I do: if Christmas feels overrated to you, please know you’re allowed to do ityourway. Close the curtains. Binge-watch from the couch. Eat whatever feels comforting. Don’t feel guilty, don’t feel sad, and don’t force yourself into someone else’s idea of “festive.”
Listen to whatyouneed. Be gentle with yourself. And remember, it’s really only a day and a half.
Before you know it, it’s over.
Wishing you calm, cozy, and very kind Christmas days, exactly as you need them to be.
🎄✨
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