Valentine's Day: A Love Letter to Ourselves (and a Few Others)
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Valentine's Day is almost upon us, the day of love, and it always gets me thinking about, well, love.
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Valentine's Day is almost upon us, the day of love, and it always gets me thinking about, well, love. First off, as a down-to-earth Dutchie, I admit it feels a bit like a commercial stunt. And let's be real, it's been years since Martin sent me red roses (or an anonymous love note in the mail).
But it's also a fantastic moment to pause and reflect on all things love. And I'm starting with the longest love affair I've ever had: the one with myself. Because self-love, for many of us, is still a bit of a 'thing.' I'd vote for a compulsory 'Self-Love ' class in high school for young women, honestly
For me, self-love doesn't mean I think I'm perfect – far from it. It means loving myself just as I am. And with a rapidly changing body now that I'm and navigating perimenopause, looking in the mirror can often bring a surprise. For instance, I recently shared how I was quite taken aback to see kilos on the scale in early January. I weigh myself very sporadically, but my jeans had already hinted at a significant difference, which was confirmed when I decided to kick off the new year with a weigh-in. A quick side note: I've been on HRT for about six months, starting with Femoston and switching to estrogen patches and a progesterone pill after three months. I suspect I've slowly gained weight each month without really noticing. But after a bout of flu on the couch in early December, followed by the holidays, my favorite jeans were decidedly uncooperative by the end of . Anyway, I digress. Even in this new form, I try to accept myself. But accepting and striving to return to the kilos I weighed for the past years are, for me, both on my early spring to-do list. I can at least try, and even if it doesn't work out, I won't love myself any less for it.
But let's be honest, it's not always easy, is it? It would be strange if it were.
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A Few Tips for Looking at Yourself with Kinder Eyes:
• Embrace the Imperfect You: Perfection is a myth. Focus on progress, not perfection. Celebrate your quirks and unique journey.
• Silence Your Inner Critic: That voice in your head telling you you're not good enough? Tell her to take a hike. Replace negative self-talk with affirmations.
• Prioritize Your Well-being: Self-love isn't selfish; it's essential. Make time for activities that nourish your mind, body, and soul.
• Set Boundaries: It's okay to say no. Protect your energy and time by setting clear boundaries with others.
• Connect with Your Tribe: Surround yourself with people who uplift and support you. Share your vulnerabilities and celebrate your strengths together.
• Journal Regularly: Use The Guide as your journaling companion: jot daily prompts, process feelings, track wins, and reframe negative thoughts—five minutes a day builds kinder self-talk and clearer priorities.
Of course, Valentine's Day is also about romantic love. I've loved Martin for years now; we've been married for , and dated for two before that. Our love has always been rooted in friendship, and now that the fiercest sparks have mellowed, our love is primarily a beautiful, affectionate friendship. Secretly, I still wouldn't mind red roses on Valentine's Day, but he surprises me with them occasionally anyway, and those spontaneous gestures feel far more valuable than a declaration of love that feels obligatory on a specific day. But the greatest love of my life is my son. I remember his birth, the moment I first saw him. It was as if Cupid's arrow, the one from the cartoons, struck me. Love at first sight, a feeling I'd never experienced before, and it's only grown stronger over more than years. So, love is broad for me; I also love my mother, my best friends, and my dog-child, Socks. And on a day like Valentine's, I pause to reflect on everyone I love and why, and I make sure they know it. While it doesn't have to be February th – any other day of the year is just as perfect – it's a lovely reminder to spread some extra love around. When I was younger and struggling with life, I read books that said, 'You can't love another until you love yourself.' Now, at , I know that to be true
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My Self-Love List (Because You Deserve It!):
1. A long, hot bath with essential oils and a good book. (No phones allowed!)
2. A solo coffee date at your favorite cafe. (People-watching is optional, but highly recommended.)
3. Investing in that one piece of clothing that makes you feel incredible. (You know the one.)
4. Saying 'no' to something you genuinely don't want to do. (The liberation is real.)
5. Taking a walk in nature, truly noticing the small details. (A blooming flower, a chirping bird – it's all there for you.)
6. Learning something new, just for the joy of it. (A language, a craft, a new recipe – expand your horizons.)
7. Journaling your thoughts and feelings without judgment. (It's like therapy, but cheaper.)
8. Scheduling a regular 'me-time' slot in your calendar. (Non-negotiable, like a doctor's appointment.)
9. Treating yourself to a delicious meal, cooked by you or someone else. (Savor every bite.)
10. Unplugging from social media for a full day. (Rediscover the world outside your screen.)
Happy Valentine's Day, lovely women. Remember to bloom, unapologetically.
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